The benefits of family meetings can only be realized if parents, in particular, uphold key rules and norms during the meetings. Our kids also learned they could bring concerns to family meetings for discussion, which really built a team mentality and a belief that their voices mattered! Even if we made the final decision on something, they felt their voice was valued if they got to give input at a family meeting first. There can be lots of reasons families decide to start holding meetings.
And if your partner does decide to join in on the conversation, make sure you don’t make jokes that poke fun at them too much — it may fall flat. Your nerves may be bad or you might hate small talk. But, you can’t get to know your partner’s family and vice versa unless you talk to them. People will notice if you and your partner or only comfortable talking to each other. Take it from someone who’s witnessed a few ‘Meet The Family’ moments when I say there are embarrassing things you never want to do when the time comes. First impressions aren’t always everything, but it doesn’t mean your partner’s family won’t judge you if you do something that’s awkward or inappropriate.
When Should Your Parents Meet Your Partner’s Parents?
It shouldn’t need to be said, but from personal experience, some people do need Lovesmoments (@Lovesmomentscom) / X telling. Though it’s a great challenge, many people with divorced parents still try hard to be fully engaged in a relationship. Prepare them for potential cultural or generational differences, so they approach the meeting with an open mind and a sense of curiosity. A relaxed, emotionally prepared & physically comfortable environment helps foster natural connection. Engage in friendly conversation, actively listen, and be open to learning more about their experiences and values.
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Plus, if you both get the seal of approval from friends, it can be a clear sign that you’re ready to take the next step. Have an agenda, get through it, and let everyone feel heard. When we first started having meetings, we would all say something nice about each person in our family.
- Have everyone support each other in the ideas brought up for the agenda.
- The benefits of family meetings can only be realized if parents, in particular, uphold key rules and norms during the meetings.
- Meeting the parents is about building on the relationship you have with your partner and developing one with the people closest to them.
- We have definitely factored discipleship into our meetings very intentionally.
“Just honor your voice. Don’t jump into it or be pressured to do something you’re not ready to do. If you’re taking this step, you should feel like you’re going to be with this person long term.” All three dismiss the notion that there comes a definitive stage of the relationship when you should meet the parents. However, Bronstein believes that it is possible to make the move too soon.
No matter how things go, your partner’s parents took time out of their day to meet you. While deep research isn’t necessary, Bronstein does encourage finding out what the parents like so you can bring a thoughtful thank you gift. Something such as a bottle of their favorite wine if you have dinner at their house would be perfect. “Around six months in the same city, dating and getting to know each other, is a nice average,” she says.
However, don’t be the one to start an awkward conversation about religion, politics, or otherwise — it’ll save you from a lot of potential awkwardness later. Just like no one likes when someone is rude or passive-aggressive, people also don’t like when it seems like you’re being overly nice or fake to win them over. My Family Meeting Toolkit, is a 10-page PDF with everything you need to get started. Click here or the image below to learn more and pick up your copy. This is especially beneficial when tensions are high in the heat of the moment. Moving an issue to a family meeting allows for a cool-down period so that calmer minds can prevail.